Toes

Husband/partner and I have been married for almost 23 years.  Strange things happen after that amount of time.  I am on some strong cardiac medicines which have many side effects; one of which is sleep disturbance.  I was awakened at 5 AM this morning extremely painful toes on my left foot.  I thought I had bumped them yesterday while working barefoot in the back yard.  The longer I laid in bed, the worse the pain became so I got up to examine toes.  They looked like my usual toes.  As I stayed up for a while, the pain gradually disappeared and I went back to bed and, thankfully, to sleep.

When I finally groggily got up, husband/partner was clanking around the bedroom.  I said, "Boy, do I have some weirdness to tell you about".  He interrupted (he always interrupts me) and said, "You know, the other night at dinner I wanted to tell this story and I didn't get a chance."  The dinner was with 2 other retired  nurses (friend/partner Paula, friend/partner Jay, and his mother) and we were trading medical horror stories.  Husband/partner proceeded to tell me this story:

"One day, I was making rounds with the residents and attending physicians.  We walked into a lady's room and asked her how she was doing.  She said, "I only have nine toes".  Sure enough, the medical student determined that she was correct.  She said, "I had ten yesterday".  Further questioning brought out the fact that said toe had been gangrenous black for a month and the lady was a diabetic.  It was presumed that the toe had died and fallen off somewhere."

It's called synchronicity when something so bizarre happens.  I said to husband/partner, "How did you  know my weirdness was about my toes?"  He replied, "What are you talking about?"  So, my weirdness with my toes just became even stranger yet.

What I want to know is, if he can subconsciously figure out that I had a toe problem during the night, why the heck can't he figure out what I'm bidding??

PREDICTABILITY

Husband/partner had a game with mysterioso Kim last Tuesday night and scored big - first overall with a 60 plus percentage.  Prior to the first hand, Kim provided a quick explanation of his unusual approach to the game which husband/partner absorbed and, obviously, carried out well.  After the game, he said to Kim, "I'll put our card into the computer program and print one out for you in case we play again".  Kim said, "Don't bother.  We will be doing something different next time."

Kim has told me in the past that I am too predictable.  I believe the advice went something like this: "Psych or something once in a while - it would be good for you".  My approach to the game has always been that sound bidding keeps partner from guessing what you might have and also, keeps partners.  I don't know how to psych anyway.  I play different systems with different partners but nothing as different as what Kim plays.  The conventional wisdom around the club is, ignore his bidding and bid your hand because you won't be able to figure out what he is doing even if you ask for an explanation.  I have found this to be true.

My stability has always been my greatest asset.  People have always said, "You have a good head on your shoulders."  For most of my life, I would have traded that for a "You look gorgeous" but, sadly, I would know it to be a lie anyway so I take comfort in my apparent stability.  Who knew it would become yet another bridge liability?

Kim wins way more games than I do.  I need to think about this.  I wonder if there is a program to teach psyching in bridge.  Off to google.

The Other Side

The good news is, your blogger made it through the procedure and out of the hospital, much to her surprise so, there is no bad news.  My doctor wondered why I showed up if I thought I was going to expire on the table.  The answer is, the same reason I play bridge; expect the worst, hope for the best, and be pleasantly surprised when things actually work out the way you want them to.

When I lay down a dummy with 5 points and 2 small trump, my partner, Paula, always says in a very delighted voice, "Thank you, partner, that's lovely".  I call her Tigger, after the always happy hyperactive tiger in Winnie the Poo.  I look at a dummy and, usually in no trump, wonder, sometimes aloud, how in the world I am going to make it.  Then, I roll 6.  She calls me Eeyore, after the clinically depressed donkey friend of Winnie the bear. 

Last week, my 99 year old (would have been 100 in July), mother in law, Reba Hoffman, died quietly in her bed.  She said she didn't want to be 100 and has been asking for the past few years why she was still here on earth to which partner/husband and I had no real answer.  We had to cancel some team games we had planned in the Kerrville sectional to take her back to Philadelphia to be buried next to her beloved husband.  Again, the good wishes and support from everyone in the bridge community meant the world to both of us.

Thanks to all of you and we are so happy to be a part of this group.

Support Doubles

Okay - all of you know that I don't really write about serious bridge stuff so you have probably guessed that the above title is a bit misleading.  The support I'm talking about is the care and love from the people in the bridge community which is at least double what I expected.  I am scheduled to have a small procedure on my heart next Monday.  I haven't  written much in a while because it has been weighing on me and I haven't felt particularly funny.  However, my bridge friends and foes alike cheer me up no matter what.  Friend/partner Rebecca always knows exactly when to listen and what to say to help me put things into perspective.  Biig Al says I'm too mean to die.  Dementor Robert wants to schedule a game so I have to survive.  Feared player, Tom, who always gives me grief both verbally and in the game, was unexpectedly sympathetic until I told him they only made a contract because his partner played it.  That was the end of the sympathy.  We were both kidding around....... I think.

What I am driving at, in this oblique manner, is that I cherish the bridge community and I feel truly fortunate to be accepted as part of it.  Do I like every person who plays? Of course not.  I don't like some, like some, and love others.   I have discovered that despite the likes/dislikes, bridge divorces, bridge wars etc., when one of us hits a bump on the daily trail, fellow bridge players rally round, if only to express concern and kindness.  What defines a community more than that? 

Word has spread through the regulars that I have this thing scheduled and, even players I don't know well, are wishing me the best and saying prayers for me.  I'm not much of  a prayer girl but as they said in WWII, there are no atheists in foxholes, and this is a big, giant foxhole so, all prayers are gratefully accepted.  I'm not counting on the bridge goddess to get me into heaven; not even the novice section.  I think I'll go look for those burnt offerings again; put up the hummingbird feeder and hope for the best.

Medically speaking, I am a double whammy - I am a nurse, married to a doctor - the worst of all possible scenarios for things to go wrong.  However, we are both retired so maybe that will mitigate the problem.  I won't even talk about my notoriously bad luck at just about everything.  Falling back on the "due to" theory - as in - the Spurs are "due to" win against Dallas tomorrow, I'm due to have some good luck after the two month masterpoint drought. 

Thanks to all for your good words and thoughts.  See you on the other side of this thing.

END OF SLUMP? Maybe?

A week ago yesterday, webmaster Steve and I came in first overall in C; respectable.  That night, husband/partner Steve and I won first overall in the tough night game.  I was hopeful but beginning to think that I could only score while playing with someone named Steve.  However, friend/partner Paula and I went to the very fun Rockport, Texas sectional and scored respectably in the first pairs game.  Since then, a few placings have started to trickle in.  It's probably better not to talk about it.

In other news, I have developed a little scoring method to asses where the partnership is during a pairs game.  I make a notation on my score sheet after each board, giving us a grade.  A zero to the right on the score sheet is a bad board, a plus is a good board, and a dash is an average board.  I learned to do this from Biig Al but with a difference.  He always has us above 50 or 60 percent while I usually have us in the basement.  Sadly, I'm usually right.  However, my little scoring method has been remarkably accurate - I'm rarely off our one round to go score by more than 3 percentage points.  It has given me something to do during the slump.  Of course, travelers take all the fun out of it.

Feb. 28th coming up.  Another milestone in the countdown to the end of days.  I guess, if I am lucky, I will end them at a bridge table.

The SLUMP

February is my birth month and when despicable, slumpy January finally ended, I celebrated, expecting the post life master slump to also end.  Not so fast bridge newbie.  February, so far, bridgewise, has been worse than last month.  I have been trying very hard (and not very sucessfully they will tell you) to avoid whining to my partners.  Husband/partner, to make matters worse, has been scoring every time he plays with anyone.  It's one of my more difficult marital duties to continue to be happy for him when he does well.

Husband/partner handed me the Bridge Bulletin and said, "Here, read this".  The editorial column was about being in the midst of a three month slump.  THREE MONTHS!!!! Oh no!!!! I feel like an albatross around my partners' necks now; I can't imagine more months of this.  The weird thing is, I don't feel as if I am playing badly.  Yes, I still make my share of stupid mistakes but I feel that my current problem is more a bad luck, bad karma thing. 

 I've been getting advice from my great partners about what to do.  Carol says, "Don't add anything new to your game."  I haven't.  Annie says, "Take some time off."  No bridge from now until next Tuesday.  Al and dementor Robert say, "You have to keep playing through it."  I will decide on Feb. 28th whether or not I will give up the game.  Phil says, "You need and attitude adjustment."

Re: the attitude thing:  I approach each new day at the club like a puppy waking up in the morning to a whole new world.  I always go to enjoy my time with my bridge friends, get more blog fodder,  and look forward to playing my best game, hopefully with an intermittant reward at the end.  Even going down 800 on the first hand doesn't do me in.  "Oh well", I say to myself, "we have 23 more boards to get some tops to offset it".  I learned this theory from Biig Al for whom it sometimes works.  Lately, however, by the end of the round, I know it's been bad and I am stuck in my black cloud of doom and trying very hard not to whine or cry.

I'm relieved to have the next fews days as non playing days.  I'll try to help an old lady across the street, stop to help accident victims on the highway, foil a robbery, or otherwise get some good karma stored up.  I can't think of anything else to do.  All suggestions are welcome.  Push the comment button and help the author.

All Kinds

The bridge world contains both the great and good and the bad and ugly just like the rest of life, I guess.  Yesterday, I was in a doubled 4 heart contract.  The last trick, which set the contract, was taken by left hand opponent.  As she presented her good diamond with a flourish she said, "HAH! Got YA!"  I said, "That isn't very nice".  Her response was, "Oh don't get so upset; IT'S JUST A GAME"; my least favorite way to describe bridge.  I asked her if she played rubber bridge since I had seen neither she nor her partner in the club before.  Her partner (who seemed like a decent person) said "No" and gloating woman said "Yes - I play all card games".  I said, "Well that figures.  That's the kind of behavior you get in rubber games".   Gloating woman became huffy and said, "I've been playing duplicate since before you were born".  The answer to that, of course, is, "Gee, I thought you would have learned table manners in 66 years" but I didn't say it.  Off she went to annoy the next opponents.  Ick.

The Decision

Biig Al and I played together last Monday.  For most of the round, Al was perusing the menu from the new Chinese restaurant which had just opened next to the club.  Between hands he would ask me if I wanted to try somthing like duck tongues with bitter melon.  I eat about anything but this didn't sound all that appetizing at 10 in the morning.  He was mesmerized by the menu and studying it the way I study Watson.  I'd like to blame his distraction for our so-so game but it was probably my minus 1100 score which did us in.  Bad sacrifice.

After the game, we decamped next door for late lunch/early dinner with Biig Al, Jay and Paula.  The food is great, by the way, for you San Antonio readers.  Most of the staff just got here from China and speak little English.  This is a requirement for really good Chinese food.  I brought up the renaming this blog issue.  Biig Al asked, "Why do you want to rename it?".  I said, "Well, now that I made life master, I can't really call myself a newbie any more." He growled, "Anybody that goes down 2400 is still a newbie."  "It was 1100, Al!!!"  He and Jay agreed that I'm still a newbie so, bowing to the masters, the title stays as is until I win the Bermuda Bowl.

Yet Another Bridge Cruise

There are no bad bridge cruises.  Okay, maybe if the ship was taken over by pirates or the Norovirus but, other than that, there is no downside to playing fave game on a big boat.  John Sobol of Go Away Travel, as usual, worked his magic so that everything ran smoothly, or, if it didn't, the glips weren't visible to me.  Darlene and Steve Shirey, the directors, were their usual warm, wonderful selves although I overheard Darlene, at one point, mumbling about making an "over the side" list.  I hope I wasn't on it.

The pros, Eddie Wold and Bob Morris, brought along a contingent of very good players from Houston.  We had planned the trip together with friend/partner Rebecca and her husband, Jerry.  By the time of the cruise, about a dozen other San Antonio and New Braunfels (little town near San Antonio) players  had joined us.  The last pair to join the cruise, LaNelle and Betty Jo, strafed the field with the highest point total on the cruise.  Take that Houston!

Eddie and Bob team taught and the lessons were pitched so that the newest player to the best club player, other than the AX types, could get something out of them.  They were excellent.  Partner/husband and I picked up some new toys which we put into use while on the cruise, including upside down signals.   That will take a while to get right.  We didn't tear it up but came away with a little partial point - pretty good for a cruise ship which, traditionally, is not a big point getter.  At one point, we had  a 37 percent game.  Director Steve said, "What kind of score is that for a life master?"  I said, "Our usual!"  Part of the Post Life Master slump I explained.  Darlene was kind enough to agree.

The following story puts bridge on a cruise ship into its proper perspective.  Partner/husband opened a club.  I bid a spade with 6 of them.  Partner husband bid a one no trump.  I rebid my spades.  Partner/husband laid a 3 spade bid on the table, looked at it, and then said, "Wait a minute" and then picked it up, thought for a while and laid down 2 NT.  I waited but the opponents quietly passed with no director call.  Hmmm.  I wanted to bid 3 spades but didn't  feel that I could ethically do so.   I bid my 4 card diamond suit.  Partner/husband bid 3 NT.  Normally, I would have pulled it to spades since entries to my hand were limited but, again, I couldn't take any inference from his misbid.  He made 3 NT but it was low board to a nice 4 spade game.  When I asked the opponents why they didn't call the director they said, "It's boat bridge - who cares?"  How sane is that?  I'm glad they got a good board out of it.

My Tuesday partner, Carol, and her roommate, Nell, had a contest to see who could lose more of their stuff on the boat.  Nell won but Carol, sadly, lost her iphone.  79 year old Nell, on the other hand, got two temporary spider tattoos on her arm and rastafarian beads braided into her snow white hair to the absolute horror of similarly aged LaNelle, who kept telling her to take them out.  Carol ordered wine at dinner and then, to the shocked embarrasment of the waiter,  rooted around under her shirt to get her sea pass card out of her bra.  I love those women and, I hope, as I age along with them that I'll remain as free spirted as they are.

The last cruise day, Saturday, traditionally is a Swiss Team event.  We planned to play with friends Jerry and Rebecca, of course.  Jerry has played rubber bridge for many years but is somewhat mystified by the intensity and bidding systems of duplicate.  They offered to drop out and let us get better teammates.  Not gonna happen!  We won the first round, lost the second and for some reason, came up against one of the very good Houston teams in the third.  To my profound shock, we beat them!  We won 2 rounds and lost three but got Jerry up to about .8 toward his first masterpoint.  Celebration.

The high point of my week occured when I decided to start a round at a table with Eddie Wold and a Houston player partner.  I landed in a 3 NT contract, and made 4.  I got a "nicely played" from Eddie. YOWZA!!!! 

The week was a whole boatload of fun.

The Post LM Slump

Everyone warned me about it but I thought - "no - it won't happen to me!"  Hah.  I haven't had a decent game since Reno.  So, that's what being a life master is all about; more bad games than good just like before.  No surprise there.  Partner Carol called me to confirm our Tuesday game and I said, "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, you have a life master for a Tuesday partner.  The bad news is, it's still me."

Jeri, who is in charge of the mentor/mentee program, waited a whole two days before asking if I would take a mentee.  I don't feel that I know enough about bridge to help anyone with anything but she assured me that I would be fine.  Sure, as long as the mentee knows nothing about the game, I'll be fine.  So, I set up a game with the new mentee for the Monday night pro/am.  She cancelled.  I called Biig Al to see if he was available to play since husband/partner already had a play date.  Biig Al said, " A MENTEE cancelled on YOU; a LIFE MASTER!!??  What is the bridge world coming to?"  Biig Al can be amusing at times.  This wasn't one. Okay, I laughed.  We played; he made a stupid double where they made game counting on me to have 10 points for my pre emptive bid (I didn't) and I made some bonehead judgement errors so we didn't have our best game ever.  I'm putting it down to the continuing PLM slump.

I have to do something to turn things around so I decided to ask you loyal readers what I should do about the blog name.  I'm okay with it since, LM or no, I still FEEL like a bridge newbie but, what do you think?  Should we get a new title?  Beverly has suggested "Bridge Banter".  I like the suggestion but I'm just not sure what to do about renaming the blog at this point.  Let me know what you think.  Push the comment button and write something.  I'm tired of doing all the work.

Thanks!

Life Master At Last

Happy New Year blog followers!  Husband/partner and I made LM together, at the Reno Regional, with those awesome gold miners, Paula and Jay.  It was an emotional week, with more ups and downs than a road over the devil's backbone.  However, as our son opined, "It's nice to hear someone returned from Reno with a good result".  I think he was worried that we were headed for the quickie divorce capital of the western world.

"So, how does it feel?" I always hate those stupid reporters who ask people how "it" feels - winning the superbowl, escaping from a burning building, getting the Pulitzer... come on - can't you guys think of anything else to ask? So, how does it feel to attain life master status after about three years of non stop bridge playing? For me, the operative feeling is relief! I have scaled the mountain and laid my heavy backpack at the top. Unfortunately, it's only the first peak. A whole range of mountains lay before me.

Director/friend/partner Jay says, "Now you can really start to learn the game." Paula Warren says, "You get your life master and you wake up the next morning the same shitty player you were the day before." Club owner/friend Marilyn says, "It's your entry card into the world of real bridge players". I'm sure they are all correct.

To me, it's the high school diploma of bridge; a certification of basic competency. That may be an overstatement in my case since I can still screw up a laydown 3 NT hand and often do. However, now I can take some days off from playing and not feel as if I am losing ground in the hunt for masterpoints.

I am still committed to the game; love it; and as friend/partner Rebecca often says, "I would rather be playing bridge than doing most other things". I couldn't agree more. I will continue taking classes and directed play with real bridge masters and do anything else I can do to help my game improve. What is the next peak to scale? Not bronze life master or any number of points; no; I just want to be a decent club player whom other people enjoy having as a partner. If other designations come with time, so be it, but I am no longer in the hunt for piles of MPs. Done with that - over an out.

How many bridge players does it take to birth a new life master? Here is a list:

Mentors:

Biig Al Lochli
Chief Dementor Robert Barber
Marilyn Arnold

Teachers:

John Beard
Laurie Levin
Diane Olson
Everette Lewis
Wayne Rauschuber
Director Tom Marsh
Mike Lawrence
Lisa and David Berkowitz
Ira Hessel
Greg Hinze
Terry and Carolyn Reily
Bill Walker

Partners:

Partner/Husband Stephen Hoffman
Rebecca Brown
Carol Campbell
Leslie Tramer
Fran Vanecko
Paula Wissman
Jay Thorne
Phil Brown
Phyllis Giffen
Andy Villastrigo
Lee Ann Tsai
Steve Simpson
Becky Lu Tanner
Delores Reilly
Maddie and Bob Kleinman
Barbara Morgan
Bill Moody
Chuck Abbott
Susan Hernandez
Kenyon Daniel
Ken and Sharon MacMorran

AND - everyone who ever gave me any advice about anything at a bridge table - yes - even including you Tom Trudeau!

I am beyond grateful to all of you.  Thank You!!

Zero Tolerance

I'm not sure exactly what constitutes an infraction of the zero tolerance rule. If the opponent is slamming cards down on the table, is red in the face and as soon as the hand is over, starts yelling at his partner, is that a violation?  If it is and I call the director, what do I say?  Opponent is being mean to his partner?  In my book, it's his partner's fault for playing with the abuser at all.

One day, after the abuser had left the table and was out of earshot, I said to abuser's partner, "I can refer your partner to some anger management classes".  The gentleman said, "He needs it."  I left it at that but, wanted to add, "Why do you allow someone to treat you like that?" 

Why do people?  Call me.  I'll be your partner.  I will be nice to you no matter how lousy our game.  Actually, the lousy game is often my fault anyway so, this is no problem.

Whatever Happened to Shaking Hands?

On any given day men and women and women and women at the club are greeting each other with full body contact.  Am I the only one who finds this beyond weird?  Don't answer.  Maybe it's a Texas thing.  Maybe it's a southern thing.  I know, for sure, it isn't a New York thing.  Men don't do it to each other, so, if hugging is so great, why don't they?  It's not as if the people being greeted are some long lost relatives.  Most of the time they are the loyal opponents from the day before.

I don't like being hugged by people I don't know, don't care to know, aren't close friends, or whom I actively dislike.  Therefore, I make it a blanket rule that  I don't hug anyone and the actively disliked few are thereby hidden among the many.   The Huggy Doodies don't understand this.  I call them Huggy Doodies in fond memory of cute little Howdy.  If you don't remember Howdy - google him and watch some old episodes.  They don't make 'em like that any more.  Howdy never hugged Buffalo Bob or Mr. Bluster, Clarabelle or Princess Summerfallwinterspring.  So when did it become de rigueur to hug everyone upon meeting?  Presumably sometime after 1952.

I do the stick my hand out thing as someone is coming in on a hug approach.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes I have to duck or push away.  Sometimes I have to say, "Don't ever touch me again".  That always works.  I often want to add "you slimeball" but I'm afraid that would result in another lecture from Director Tom about zero tolerance.  I think there should be zero tolerance for hugging.  I also think I would get outvoted by the Huggy Doodies.  The bottom line for me is, don't touch me, don't touch my cards and we should get along fine.  That isn't so hard, is it?

A Warning

I walked into the Bridge Club of San Antonio for my usual Tuesday game with wonderful partner, Carol, and Director Tom was raking in the funds - oh - wait - I mean he was collecting playing fees.  Yep - that was it.  Anyway, in his best megaphone can be heard across the street voice, he said, "Judy! I read your blog and I have a warning to give you".  Uh oh.  I"ve been good.  I haven't opened Flannery two diamonds without the requisite 11 to 15 points although I was sorely tempted one day with 16, but Tom was directing and I didn't dare.  I was mentally reviewing what egregious thing I had documented here which violated some arcane ACBL rule but I was coming up short.

Finally, coming to the end of the line as I patiently waited my chastisement, Tom continued in the same voice (loud enough for everyone to enjoy the story).  "I was playing a regional with a partner who removed everyone's cards from the board.  This obviously annoyed one opponent but my partner continued to do it.  Finally, the opponent with red face, grimace, and muscles tensed said, "I CAN REMOVE MY OWN CARDS FROM THE BOARD.  DON'T TOUCH THEM!"

I said, "Oh great, it's not just me then".  Tom then ended the story with the tag line; "Yeah, and the guy died two weeks later so watch out!"  At that time, David the card pullerouter walked by and I said, "David, I have to rethink this again."  He knew I didn't mean it.

Bridge Fun

The following is slightly raunchy so, if you are an easily offended type, don't read it.

There are three or four men (always men do this; no women) who pull everyone's hand out from the board to be played.  This always annoyed me and I can't really tell you why.  I suspect it's my grandfather, the killer diller poker player of the Hastings on Hudson Protection Engine Company Volunteer Fire Dept. game, who says in my head "Jude!  Don't ever let anyone touch your cards".

I have retrained three of the offenders to leave my hand alone.  The other is Director Everette and, as far as I am concerned, he can do anything he wants with my cards any time.  Yesterday, partner/director/friend Paula and I were playing against one of the men who went ahead and pulled my hand from the board.  I gave him the Ms. Judith look and he said, "Oh shoot, Judy, I forgot".  I humphed a little just so he wouldn't forget next time.  It was a beautiful hand, 14 points and a great major.  Partner and I rolled a game easily.

I said to the offender, "Gee David, maybe I need to rethink this card pulling thing".  Next board, he left my hand in its pocket and I pulled out a stinker with two jacks.  On the third board, David pulled out all hands but mine and I looked at him and said, "Okay David - pull it out".  Not missing a beat, he said, "That's the first time a woman has ever asked me to pull it out".  I said, "That's the biggest lie I've ever heard".  David was gasping for air between gales of laughter and the rest of us were trying unsuccessfully to keep the noise down but didn't succeed too well.

Actually, people said it was nice to hear other players having fun rather than carping at each other.  It was a total bridge disaster of a day, but, as always when Paula is my partner, we have a great time and laugh a lot.  That is the way it should be. 

Inexplicable

I am usually not much of an optimist about human nature in general, BUT, I can't even imagine that someone would get out of bed in the morning and head off for the bridge club thinking to themselves, "Today, I am going to drop a big blob of misery into one of my fellow bridge players' life".  Maybe some people do and this is the only explanation for the behavior I see or, perhaps, I'm just not smart enough to figure out the real reason this stuff happens.

Partner/husband and I were defending a hand when the declarer called for the good King of Clubs from the board.  He pulled the five of hearts, a trump, out of his hand, exposed it, and the card hit the table but did not detach from his hand.  He then said, "Oh, I didn't mean to do that" and put the card back into his hand.  I pointed out that the card had been played and he said, "No, it never touched the table" (like that matters).  I called the director.  The gentleman proceeded to explain his version that the card hadn't touched the table and, as I was about to disagree with that, he looked at me and said, "Well, maybe it did but it never left my hand".  The director ruled that the card had been played.

The gentleman (and I use the term only in the polite sense since he is clearly not) then growled in my direction, "You must really need masterpoints".  I replied, "Sir, you either play the game by the rules or you don't play".  He then regrowled, "Yep, you need those points; I can smell it".  My hand shot up and I called the director back to the table.  I asked her to tell the man to stop bothering me.  She directed him to cease all conversation with me.  He replied, "Don't worry about it.  I don't want to talk to HER".

This is one of the reasons I wouldn't make a good director.  I would have fined the SOB 3 matchpoints just for that. 

Later, I overheard him discussing the incident with his partner.  He asked partner if he had seen the exposed card and partner said that he had.  The player then said, "Well, I guess I didn't have a leg to stand on, did I" and his partner agreed that he hadn't.  Do you think grumpy old man wandered my way at any time that day and offered an apology?  Nope.  What I really don't understand is why people partner with someone who is so obviously obnoxious.  If all of us refused to play with people who violate zero tolerance, wouldn't the bridge world be a nice place to live?

Smooth Operators

For the second time ever, I was pleased to play with teacher/director Everette last Tuesday.  My partner unexpectedly cancelled and he was nice enough to become a playing director.  I have described being Everette's partner as akin to driving a really, really expensive Italian sports car like a Mazzarrati; one of the way cool, low slung, purring pieces of machinery that you hardly have to steer.  It just sails along without a lot of guidance or pings in the engine.  We did better the first time we played as partners than we did this week, but the ride, for me, was just as smooth. For Everette, probably not so much, as I made two bonehead, stupid sacrifice bids on the first two hands.  When I managed to restrain myself and set the opposition instead, he agreed that I was indeed trainable.  It was a really, really nice day.

Oh Well

After the previously blogged about spectacular week, things came to a screeching halt at the National Open Pairs qualification round last Sat.  After a dismal 38 percent game in the morning with husband/partner, qualifying was but a distant dream.  I had a bad week last week with all partners and felt the cross hairs of the bridge goddess's wrath aimed squarely at my back as the obvious problem.   Not enough incense AND the hummers have migrated on.  I need a new omen.

The good news is partner/husband and I have passed the 280 mark.  Better news is that friends Jay and Paula agreed to go to Reno over Christmas week.  On Christmas day, instead of opening presents and eating roast beef like normal Americans, all four of us will board a SW airlines plane and have peanuts for Christmas dinner.  We will attempt to get our last 5 gold points in the KOs that week and, whether we do or not, we will reboard the same SW airlines jet on New Year's Eve to come home.  I think I can scrape up a bottle of champagne when we get home to share with Jay and Paula - win or lose!

Onward.

Omens Never Lie

They just take a while to work.  For the first time ever, I have been running out of hummingbird food because so many of the little beauties have been swarming the patio feeder flashing their gorgeous red throats.  In addition, it did rain a lot and guess what?  Points are rolling in.  Friend Fran and I posted a 67.78 percent game today for first overall and last Tuesday friend Leslie and I posted a 62.2 tying for first overall with big guns, club owner Marilyn and hear much feared partner, Bill.  Last Monday night, great players Terry and Carolyn decided to take us under their wings and straighten out some stuff in our game.  The women placed first with the men second.  Terry wants a rematch.  Husband/partner and I are so grateful to all who help us.  I am very afraid to think that I am actually improving for fear that the bridge goddess will whack me a good one.  I will keep those burnt offerings going as suggested by club manager/friend Paula. Actually, Paula likes the "due to" theory better.  In case she is wrong, where did I put those matches and incense?

Rain but not Points

6 + inches yesterday and about 5 more today.  However, no points for me today.  I'll have to find a new theory.  Maybe I will resurrect the fave family sports theory - "due to win".  It drives son, Alex, nuts and he, in an very exasperated manner, not too patiently explains the statistical probability of winning, (usually the Phillies or the Girls (Cowboys) are under discussion), remains the same at the start of each game no matter the record. .  A string of losses, in other words, doesn't change the probability.  I don't like his explanation.  It seems much more logical to me that after a bunch of losses, one (read here  me and not the Phillies or the Girls), should be "due to" win.  I'm ready.  Bring on the New Braunfels sectional this weekend.  I'm due for cascades of silver.