Tom Sez

After pestering Director Tom for some time, he finally asked husband/partner and I to attend one of his series of classes.  People from his former classes drop "Tom says" at the table regularly and I wanted to hear what it is that Tom actually says.  I find, so far, that he is often misquoted. 

The thought that any bridge player can figure out where all the high cards are after the bidding and first lead comes down is mind boggling.  He has proven in class that it is possible.  Possible for him, anyway.  I can see it all so clearly in class.  I could get the same exact hand at the table though, and not figure out where the queen of clubs is.  You may remember that it is almost always the queen of clubs that is the problem card.  Okay, sometimes it's the king or queen of trump but, in my experience, I'd like to club the club queen for hiding out so often.

It's a work in progress but Tom is a great motivator for improving one's game.  I'm waiting for the results of his deductive reasoning system to show improvements in my game.  I wish I were a more patient person.

Bridge Kids

Zach is a bridge whiz at eight years of age.  I call him the Mozart of bridge. He and 92 year old Bill Scarpero, (bridge harem Bill), played knockouts together at the last sectional.  As Bill wandered by me later in the day, he mumbled, "that kid is the strongest player in the room".  Having played against Zach and his Mom, Christy, several times, I agreed with him. 

Zach has a seven year old sister.  She is a slip of a girl who can easily "slip" behind players packed back to back in chairs.  Therefore, she is the perfect caddy.  When Director Tom asked her to pick up the entry slips one day when caddies weren't really needed she said, "Do I get paid?"  Tom laughed admiringly and paid her.  During a Swiss team event, my Tuesday partner Carol asked her if she were getting paid to caddy.  She answered, "Do you think I would do this if I weren't?"  She may not have her brother's bridge skills but she has a great future on Wall Street.

I mentioned to Zach that, should he continue to become a bridge master,  people would pay him to partner with them.  He said, "Do you think Eddie Wold would pay me?"  "Well", I replied, "maybe not Eddie but someone like me would."  He looked disappointed.  If I had his skills, I'd look disappointed with that news too.

They are a lovely family with great kids.  If you haven't played against him yet, you are in for a treat.  Watch Zach fly.

Bridge Lessons Cont.

Seven year old, grandson, Noah, has had about 3 bridge lessons and downloaded a bridge training program on to his ipad.  Grandpa showed him how to take a finesse this morning.  However,  we heard when passing by an in progress ipad game, "I HATE no trump".  ahh - the kid has a great future.  He is a chip off the old grandmother block.

Recruits

The two youngest grandsons are visiting for a week.  The seven year old announced upon arrival that he wanted to learn to play bridge.  I laid out an easy 4 spade hand for him; explained that he had to "bid" to play the hand.  He grasped the concept of which card takes a trick fairly quickly but, when the lesson was over, he said, "That was really fun but I don't get the bidding part".  Yep - smart guy  - zeroed in on the problem immediately.  I'm hoping some day to "get" the bidding part too.  Five more grandchildren still to hook.  Maybe, when I'm in the home, 3 of them will show up and play a few hands with me. More likely not but what is life without hope?

Popularity Contest

Husband/partner and I become very popular when the Eight is Enough games are scheduled.  In these games, each player has a number, depending on the number of points which have been accumulated by said player.  The total number of points of all team members can't exceed eight.  This means that the killer teams of superA players don't exist.  It also means that players at our level, for once, become in high demand.  We are number ones (lowest of the low) and the number threes try to find good number ones to fill out the team. 

This is about the only time, at the bridge club, where we are actually sought after and have to turn down multiple offers from very good teammates.  I feel like the pretty, popular cheerleader in high school who turns down multiple cute guys who ask her out.  Since this never happened in real life, it's another new sixth decade experience.  I like it.

I Can't Get No..... Satisfaction

I have decided that I want to be the kind of bridge player who scores above 50 percent in every game.  I think, if I ever get to that point, that I will then find even that unsatisfactory and want more than 60 percent in every game.  I have to look back to the beginning to see that I have made any progress at all.  Unread bridge books are still stacked next to my reading chair.  I have sampled some of Mike Lawrence's book on doubles, finished Watson once, and, currently, I am making my way through Kantar's two books on defense but that is slow going.  One of my favorites, at the moment, is 25 Bridge Myths.  I like that one.  I have always loved mythology but, sadly, this one is trying to teach me when to blow off rules and what the bridge teachers have tried to drum into my head and when not to.  That is definitely a work in progress.

Husband/partner and I have decided that we get more bad scores defensively than offensively.  Maybe that is because we are such offensive people.  He is making his way through the first Kantar book while I am sampling the advanced one.  He communicated something arcane to me about leading a 10 to show a higher honor.  I, of course, immediately forgot it and heard about it from him when I didn't lead the suit, in which he had led the ten,  back through declarer's hand.  I thought the 10 showed attitude - i.e. he didn't like the suit.  Back to the books.

So, if I read everything we have on bridge which would mean doing nothing else for about five years, and actually managed to retain the knowledge and THEN actually remember to use it during a game, maybe I can make my 50 percent per game goal.  Probably not.

Pet Peeves

I have been playing long enough now to have developed some decided likes and dislikes; most of them petty.  I have been asking fellow players about their pet peeves but most of the answers I received are unprintable.

A list of mine and a few others follows:

1.     Following someone who leaves the bidding box a total mess.  These people hide the 4 heart card between the 1 club and 1 diamond card, bury the alert cards, leave the pass cards upside down and backwards and otherwise make bridge life miserable for the person behind them.  Okay, maybe I'm a little obsessive compulsive.  Okay, maybe a lot, but really, isn't bridge stressful enough without having to spend the whole round searching for the proper card?  Really? How hard is it to put things back where they belong? 

2.     Then there are the guys who throw their bids, the dummy, and their cards as they play them on to the table.  I don't mean just sort of toss them out there.  I mean they throw their stuff around with great forcefulness.  I was playing against a guy doing just that the other day so, I started pounding my cards down too.  He didn't notice.  Sigh.

3.     There are people of both sexes (just so you don't think I'm just picking on guys) who, when they are about to take a trick, arc out the Ace or whatever card is a winner as if they were opening the envelope and taking out the name to present an academy award.  Please; get over it.  Just put your card down like you usually do.  We don't need a trumpet fanfare or ruffles and flourishes just because you are winning the trick.

4.     The worst of my peeves are the gloaters.  I don't mind a "nicely played partner" - no problem.  I do mind hearing that if only the opposition had played and/or held on to a card, the contract would have been set.  I do mind the opponents saying, "Great board partner, they should have made 6".  Please; I usually know when I have screwed up since I do it often enough.  Saying stuff like that is just down and dirty rude. 

5.     Players who ask me, after the hand is over and put back in the board or worse, after we have played four boards, "How many clubs did you have on that first hand?"  Like I remember?  Are you kidding? I can barely remember the count during the hand much less three hands later.

6.     Players who go into the tank on every bid.  Why can't you think ahead?  If my partner or the oppostion does this, I will do that.  Admittedly, sometimes the hands are so odd and the bidding so mysterious, that a visit to the tank is needed but, really, 1 NT, tank; 1 heart 2 hearts, tank?  There are a limited number of options.  Pick one and get on with it.

7.     Players who leave empty cups, food, wrappers, iced tea, used napkins or, worse yet, Kleenex around their recently vacated chair.  They move on to the next table but their detritus remains behind as a not so fond memory of their presence.  I have often heard from the club managers that bridge players are slobs.  If I were a club manager I would say to the offender, "Your Mommy isn't around any more.  Pick up after yourself".  I guess I wouldn't have too many players at my club though.

Please add any of your fave peeves to the comments section.   Thanks for reading.  I feel better already!

How is Bridge Like Boxing?

One of my major character flaws is that I like big time wrestling.  Yes, yes, I know it's all an act but I used to enjoy boxing too.  My Dad used to say, "Hey Jude, the fights are on" and we would settle in to listen to Rocky Marciano on the radio and later on T.V.  Remember the show girl looking babes who, after the bell had done its clang, clang, clang thing and the boxers went to their corners, would stroll around the ring with large placards with the next round number on them?  As I recall, these chicks balanced precariously on 6 inch stilletto heels and didn't have too much clothing to get in the way of showing off  a whole lot of cleavage.  They fascinated me.  I figured that I would never look like them and I was correct.   I haven't watched a boxing match in a while.  I wonder if they still exist?

Club director, Jay, has a voice which, shall we say, carries well.  To call each round, he says, "EVERYBODY MOVE FOR ROUND SIX; ROUND SIX!!!"  For some reason, each time he does it I am reminded of the boxing announcers and I can see those strutting gals.  I have proposed to some of my female partners that we get some posterboard, ink in some numbers, and when Jay calls the round, that we take the appropriate number and march around the club.  Jay says we can do this only if we wear bikinis.  None of my chicken female partners agreed even when I noted that all of us need the exercise.  It was pointed out that the lack of exercise and eating too many club snacks is exactly why we shouldn't parade around scantily clad.  Maybe so.  Putting on a bathing suit to go out in the backyard is about my limit anyway.

The Harem

Husband/partner and 92 year old Bill have in depth baseball conversations about the Phillies and the Braves.  One day, as I was walking into the club and holding the door for Bill he said, "I have a question to ask you."  I replied loud enough for everyone inside to hear since Bill is a little deaf, "If it's about the Phillies, I can't help you."  Laughter from the audience inside.   "No", he said, "it's not about the Phillies.  I need a partner on Monday and wondered if you were free".

The rumor around the club is that Bill plays only with women partners.  These women were named "The Harem" by friend/partner Rebecca who is a member.  Rebecca has been spending a lot of time recently doing grandmother duty so, out of desperation I think, Bill asked if I were available to play. I, of course, jumped at the chance.  Even a substitute harem gig is better than no harem gig at all.

During the first game, one of the opponents noticed the new harem member and said to Bill, "I hear you have only  women bridge partners."  Bill said, "That just isn't true".  The opponent said, "Okay - what guys do you have as partners?"  Bill thought for a moment and then said, "I  like only to have nice people as partners".  What an interesting statement on so many levels.

Our first game wasn't great - in the 40s somewhere; very unlike Bill's usual 62 percent or so.  The second time we played, he gave me a talk before the start of the game.  He said, "I expect to score above 60 percent.  I will accept in the 50s as an okay day.  Any score in the 40s is a practice session."  We had another practice session.  Oh well.  He said he will be free again sometime in July so, the sixties remain a hope.

Meanwhile, the very computer savvy Bill had written up all his helpful hints from his years of playing into a Word file.  He printed it and  gave me a folder full of golden wisdom.  He is my shining example of everything a bridge player should be.  I was and am honored to be a part of Bill's harem.

Watch Your Phraseology!

The title is a line from the MUSIC MAN spoken by the mayor's wife to any kid who said, "darn" or "gee whiz" or whatever passed for kid curses back then.  I want to yell it at sportscasters and athletes who, on a regular basis, massacre my generation's English language.  I know that language evolves.  Otherwise the conversation at the bridge table might go something like this:

"Partner, thou dost not have any hearts?" or "I goeth forth with the knave of spades".  No, I'm not that olde that I want to go back to Shakespearean English.

However, when did the word disrespect become a verb?  My son tells me it is listed as such in the dictionary.  I object, but, sadly, no one asked me.  Worse yet is the prefix "dis" which also seems to have become a verb somewhere along the line when I was off the track and not looking.

My all time favorite word destruction is by our own Sean Elliott, now Spurs sportscaster.  If the Spurs are rolling, he says they are on a "Joggernaut".  Is that an astronaut out for a jog in space?  I think he means "juggernaut" as in rolling over the opposition. I don't have many jogger or juggernauts in my bridge game but I continue to hope for the future.

Sean also says, "The Spurs need to 'score the ball'."  What the heck else would they score? Does he mean take a knife and carve it up?  If we need to "score the cards" should we think about shredding the deck?  I think about that a lot after going down in no trump while the field makes three.

I'm delighted that most bridge players are my age and their English usage is akin to mine.  In what other sport can you hear the word "penultimate" as often as in bridge tournaments?  It's a great word.  You never hear a sportscaster say "We are in the penultimate quarter".  Nope.  Maybe I should watch less sports.  It would help my blood pressure if I just watched with the mute button on.  Maybe I should play more bridge instead.  I don't see how that would help the blood pressure issue though.

Until next time folks, watch that phraseology!

Toes

Husband/partner and I have been married for almost 23 years.  Strange things happen after that amount of time.  I am on some strong cardiac medicines which have many side effects; one of which is sleep disturbance.  I was awakened at 5 AM this morning extremely painful toes on my left foot.  I thought I had bumped them yesterday while working barefoot in the back yard.  The longer I laid in bed, the worse the pain became so I got up to examine toes.  They looked like my usual toes.  As I stayed up for a while, the pain gradually disappeared and I went back to bed and, thankfully, to sleep.

When I finally groggily got up, husband/partner was clanking around the bedroom.  I said, "Boy, do I have some weirdness to tell you about".  He interrupted (he always interrupts me) and said, "You know, the other night at dinner I wanted to tell this story and I didn't get a chance."  The dinner was with 2 other retired  nurses (friend/partner Paula, friend/partner Jay, and his mother) and we were trading medical horror stories.  Husband/partner proceeded to tell me this story:

"One day, I was making rounds with the residents and attending physicians.  We walked into a lady's room and asked her how she was doing.  She said, "I only have nine toes".  Sure enough, the medical student determined that she was correct.  She said, "I had ten yesterday".  Further questioning brought out the fact that said toe had been gangrenous black for a month and the lady was a diabetic.  It was presumed that the toe had died and fallen off somewhere."

It's called synchronicity when something so bizarre happens.  I said to husband/partner, "How did you  know my weirdness was about my toes?"  He replied, "What are you talking about?"  So, my weirdness with my toes just became even stranger yet.

What I want to know is, if he can subconsciously figure out that I had a toe problem during the night, why the heck can't he figure out what I'm bidding??

PREDICTABILITY

Husband/partner had a game with mysterioso Kim last Tuesday night and scored big - first overall with a 60 plus percentage.  Prior to the first hand, Kim provided a quick explanation of his unusual approach to the game which husband/partner absorbed and, obviously, carried out well.  After the game, he said to Kim, "I'll put our card into the computer program and print one out for you in case we play again".  Kim said, "Don't bother.  We will be doing something different next time."

Kim has told me in the past that I am too predictable.  I believe the advice went something like this: "Psych or something once in a while - it would be good for you".  My approach to the game has always been that sound bidding keeps partner from guessing what you might have and also, keeps partners.  I don't know how to psych anyway.  I play different systems with different partners but nothing as different as what Kim plays.  The conventional wisdom around the club is, ignore his bidding and bid your hand because you won't be able to figure out what he is doing even if you ask for an explanation.  I have found this to be true.

My stability has always been my greatest asset.  People have always said, "You have a good head on your shoulders."  For most of my life, I would have traded that for a "You look gorgeous" but, sadly, I would know it to be a lie anyway so I take comfort in my apparent stability.  Who knew it would become yet another bridge liability?

Kim wins way more games than I do.  I need to think about this.  I wonder if there is a program to teach psyching in bridge.  Off to google.

The Other Side

The good news is, your blogger made it through the procedure and out of the hospital, much to her surprise so, there is no bad news.  My doctor wondered why I showed up if I thought I was going to expire on the table.  The answer is, the same reason I play bridge; expect the worst, hope for the best, and be pleasantly surprised when things actually work out the way you want them to.

When I lay down a dummy with 5 points and 2 small trump, my partner, Paula, always says in a very delighted voice, "Thank you, partner, that's lovely".  I call her Tigger, after the always happy hyperactive tiger in Winnie the Poo.  I look at a dummy and, usually in no trump, wonder, sometimes aloud, how in the world I am going to make it.  Then, I roll 6.  She calls me Eeyore, after the clinically depressed donkey friend of Winnie the bear. 

Last week, my 99 year old (would have been 100 in July), mother in law, Reba Hoffman, died quietly in her bed.  She said she didn't want to be 100 and has been asking for the past few years why she was still here on earth to which partner/husband and I had no real answer.  We had to cancel some team games we had planned in the Kerrville sectional to take her back to Philadelphia to be buried next to her beloved husband.  Again, the good wishes and support from everyone in the bridge community meant the world to both of us.

Thanks to all of you and we are so happy to be a part of this group.

Support Doubles

Okay - all of you know that I don't really write about serious bridge stuff so you have probably guessed that the above title is a bit misleading.  The support I'm talking about is the care and love from the people in the bridge community which is at least double what I expected.  I am scheduled to have a small procedure on my heart next Monday.  I haven't  written much in a while because it has been weighing on me and I haven't felt particularly funny.  However, my bridge friends and foes alike cheer me up no matter what.  Friend/partner Rebecca always knows exactly when to listen and what to say to help me put things into perspective.  Biig Al says I'm too mean to die.  Dementor Robert wants to schedule a game so I have to survive.  Feared player, Tom, who always gives me grief both verbally and in the game, was unexpectedly sympathetic until I told him they only made a contract because his partner played it.  That was the end of the sympathy.  We were both kidding around....... I think.

What I am driving at, in this oblique manner, is that I cherish the bridge community and I feel truly fortunate to be accepted as part of it.  Do I like every person who plays? Of course not.  I don't like some, like some, and love others.   I have discovered that despite the likes/dislikes, bridge divorces, bridge wars etc., when one of us hits a bump on the daily trail, fellow bridge players rally round, if only to express concern and kindness.  What defines a community more than that? 

Word has spread through the regulars that I have this thing scheduled and, even players I don't know well, are wishing me the best and saying prayers for me.  I'm not much of  a prayer girl but as they said in WWII, there are no atheists in foxholes, and this is a big, giant foxhole so, all prayers are gratefully accepted.  I'm not counting on the bridge goddess to get me into heaven; not even the novice section.  I think I'll go look for those burnt offerings again; put up the hummingbird feeder and hope for the best.

Medically speaking, I am a double whammy - I am a nurse, married to a doctor - the worst of all possible scenarios for things to go wrong.  However, we are both retired so maybe that will mitigate the problem.  I won't even talk about my notoriously bad luck at just about everything.  Falling back on the "due to" theory - as in - the Spurs are "due to" win against Dallas tomorrow, I'm due to have some good luck after the two month masterpoint drought. 

Thanks to all for your good words and thoughts.  See you on the other side of this thing.

END OF SLUMP? Maybe?

A week ago yesterday, webmaster Steve and I came in first overall in C; respectable.  That night, husband/partner Steve and I won first overall in the tough night game.  I was hopeful but beginning to think that I could only score while playing with someone named Steve.  However, friend/partner Paula and I went to the very fun Rockport, Texas sectional and scored respectably in the first pairs game.  Since then, a few placings have started to trickle in.  It's probably better not to talk about it.

In other news, I have developed a little scoring method to asses where the partnership is during a pairs game.  I make a notation on my score sheet after each board, giving us a grade.  A zero to the right on the score sheet is a bad board, a plus is a good board, and a dash is an average board.  I learned to do this from Biig Al but with a difference.  He always has us above 50 or 60 percent while I usually have us in the basement.  Sadly, I'm usually right.  However, my little scoring method has been remarkably accurate - I'm rarely off our one round to go score by more than 3 percentage points.  It has given me something to do during the slump.  Of course, travelers take all the fun out of it.

Feb. 28th coming up.  Another milestone in the countdown to the end of days.  I guess, if I am lucky, I will end them at a bridge table.

The SLUMP

February is my birth month and when despicable, slumpy January finally ended, I celebrated, expecting the post life master slump to also end.  Not so fast bridge newbie.  February, so far, bridgewise, has been worse than last month.  I have been trying very hard (and not very sucessfully they will tell you) to avoid whining to my partners.  Husband/partner, to make matters worse, has been scoring every time he plays with anyone.  It's one of my more difficult marital duties to continue to be happy for him when he does well.

Husband/partner handed me the Bridge Bulletin and said, "Here, read this".  The editorial column was about being in the midst of a three month slump.  THREE MONTHS!!!! Oh no!!!! I feel like an albatross around my partners' necks now; I can't imagine more months of this.  The weird thing is, I don't feel as if I am playing badly.  Yes, I still make my share of stupid mistakes but I feel that my current problem is more a bad luck, bad karma thing. 

 I've been getting advice from my great partners about what to do.  Carol says, "Don't add anything new to your game."  I haven't.  Annie says, "Take some time off."  No bridge from now until next Tuesday.  Al and dementor Robert say, "You have to keep playing through it."  I will decide on Feb. 28th whether or not I will give up the game.  Phil says, "You need and attitude adjustment."

Re: the attitude thing:  I approach each new day at the club like a puppy waking up in the morning to a whole new world.  I always go to enjoy my time with my bridge friends, get more blog fodder,  and look forward to playing my best game, hopefully with an intermittant reward at the end.  Even going down 800 on the first hand doesn't do me in.  "Oh well", I say to myself, "we have 23 more boards to get some tops to offset it".  I learned this theory from Biig Al for whom it sometimes works.  Lately, however, by the end of the round, I know it's been bad and I am stuck in my black cloud of doom and trying very hard not to whine or cry.

I'm relieved to have the next fews days as non playing days.  I'll try to help an old lady across the street, stop to help accident victims on the highway, foil a robbery, or otherwise get some good karma stored up.  I can't think of anything else to do.  All suggestions are welcome.  Push the comment button and help the author.

All Kinds

The bridge world contains both the great and good and the bad and ugly just like the rest of life, I guess.  Yesterday, I was in a doubled 4 heart contract.  The last trick, which set the contract, was taken by left hand opponent.  As she presented her good diamond with a flourish she said, "HAH! Got YA!"  I said, "That isn't very nice".  Her response was, "Oh don't get so upset; IT'S JUST A GAME"; my least favorite way to describe bridge.  I asked her if she played rubber bridge since I had seen neither she nor her partner in the club before.  Her partner (who seemed like a decent person) said "No" and gloating woman said "Yes - I play all card games".  I said, "Well that figures.  That's the kind of behavior you get in rubber games".   Gloating woman became huffy and said, "I've been playing duplicate since before you were born".  The answer to that, of course, is, "Gee, I thought you would have learned table manners in 66 years" but I didn't say it.  Off she went to annoy the next opponents.  Ick.

The Decision

Biig Al and I played together last Monday.  For most of the round, Al was perusing the menu from the new Chinese restaurant which had just opened next to the club.  Between hands he would ask me if I wanted to try somthing like duck tongues with bitter melon.  I eat about anything but this didn't sound all that appetizing at 10 in the morning.  He was mesmerized by the menu and studying it the way I study Watson.  I'd like to blame his distraction for our so-so game but it was probably my minus 1100 score which did us in.  Bad sacrifice.

After the game, we decamped next door for late lunch/early dinner with Biig Al, Jay and Paula.  The food is great, by the way, for you San Antonio readers.  Most of the staff just got here from China and speak little English.  This is a requirement for really good Chinese food.  I brought up the renaming this blog issue.  Biig Al asked, "Why do you want to rename it?".  I said, "Well, now that I made life master, I can't really call myself a newbie any more." He growled, "Anybody that goes down 2400 is still a newbie."  "It was 1100, Al!!!"  He and Jay agreed that I'm still a newbie so, bowing to the masters, the title stays as is until I win the Bermuda Bowl.

Yet Another Bridge Cruise

There are no bad bridge cruises.  Okay, maybe if the ship was taken over by pirates or the Norovirus but, other than that, there is no downside to playing fave game on a big boat.  John Sobol of Go Away Travel, as usual, worked his magic so that everything ran smoothly, or, if it didn't, the glips weren't visible to me.  Darlene and Steve Shirey, the directors, were their usual warm, wonderful selves although I overheard Darlene, at one point, mumbling about making an "over the side" list.  I hope I wasn't on it.

The pros, Eddie Wold and Bob Morris, brought along a contingent of very good players from Houston.  We had planned the trip together with friend/partner Rebecca and her husband, Jerry.  By the time of the cruise, about a dozen other San Antonio and New Braunfels (little town near San Antonio) players  had joined us.  The last pair to join the cruise, LaNelle and Betty Jo, strafed the field with the highest point total on the cruise.  Take that Houston!

Eddie and Bob team taught and the lessons were pitched so that the newest player to the best club player, other than the AX types, could get something out of them.  They were excellent.  Partner/husband and I picked up some new toys which we put into use while on the cruise, including upside down signals.   That will take a while to get right.  We didn't tear it up but came away with a little partial point - pretty good for a cruise ship which, traditionally, is not a big point getter.  At one point, we had  a 37 percent game.  Director Steve said, "What kind of score is that for a life master?"  I said, "Our usual!"  Part of the Post Life Master slump I explained.  Darlene was kind enough to agree.

The following story puts bridge on a cruise ship into its proper perspective.  Partner/husband opened a club.  I bid a spade with 6 of them.  Partner husband bid a one no trump.  I rebid my spades.  Partner/husband laid a 3 spade bid on the table, looked at it, and then said, "Wait a minute" and then picked it up, thought for a while and laid down 2 NT.  I waited but the opponents quietly passed with no director call.  Hmmm.  I wanted to bid 3 spades but didn't  feel that I could ethically do so.   I bid my 4 card diamond suit.  Partner/husband bid 3 NT.  Normally, I would have pulled it to spades since entries to my hand were limited but, again, I couldn't take any inference from his misbid.  He made 3 NT but it was low board to a nice 4 spade game.  When I asked the opponents why they didn't call the director they said, "It's boat bridge - who cares?"  How sane is that?  I'm glad they got a good board out of it.

My Tuesday partner, Carol, and her roommate, Nell, had a contest to see who could lose more of their stuff on the boat.  Nell won but Carol, sadly, lost her iphone.  79 year old Nell, on the other hand, got two temporary spider tattoos on her arm and rastafarian beads braided into her snow white hair to the absolute horror of similarly aged LaNelle, who kept telling her to take them out.  Carol ordered wine at dinner and then, to the shocked embarrasment of the waiter,  rooted around under her shirt to get her sea pass card out of her bra.  I love those women and, I hope, as I age along with them that I'll remain as free spirted as they are.

The last cruise day, Saturday, traditionally is a Swiss Team event.  We planned to play with friends Jerry and Rebecca, of course.  Jerry has played rubber bridge for many years but is somewhat mystified by the intensity and bidding systems of duplicate.  They offered to drop out and let us get better teammates.  Not gonna happen!  We won the first round, lost the second and for some reason, came up against one of the very good Houston teams in the third.  To my profound shock, we beat them!  We won 2 rounds and lost three but got Jerry up to about .8 toward his first masterpoint.  Celebration.

The high point of my week occured when I decided to start a round at a table with Eddie Wold and a Houston player partner.  I landed in a 3 NT contract, and made 4.  I got a "nicely played" from Eddie. YOWZA!!!! 

The week was a whole boatload of fun.

The Post LM Slump

Everyone warned me about it but I thought - "no - it won't happen to me!"  Hah.  I haven't had a decent game since Reno.  So, that's what being a life master is all about; more bad games than good just like before.  No surprise there.  Partner Carol called me to confirm our Tuesday game and I said, "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, you have a life master for a Tuesday partner.  The bad news is, it's still me."

Jeri, who is in charge of the mentor/mentee program, waited a whole two days before asking if I would take a mentee.  I don't feel that I know enough about bridge to help anyone with anything but she assured me that I would be fine.  Sure, as long as the mentee knows nothing about the game, I'll be fine.  So, I set up a game with the new mentee for the Monday night pro/am.  She cancelled.  I called Biig Al to see if he was available to play since husband/partner already had a play date.  Biig Al said, " A MENTEE cancelled on YOU; a LIFE MASTER!!??  What is the bridge world coming to?"  Biig Al can be amusing at times.  This wasn't one. Okay, I laughed.  We played; he made a stupid double where they made game counting on me to have 10 points for my pre emptive bid (I didn't) and I made some bonehead judgement errors so we didn't have our best game ever.  I'm putting it down to the continuing PLM slump.

I have to do something to turn things around so I decided to ask you loyal readers what I should do about the blog name.  I'm okay with it since, LM or no, I still FEEL like a bridge newbie but, what do you think?  Should we get a new title?  Beverly has suggested "Bridge Banter".  I like the suggestion but I'm just not sure what to do about renaming the blog at this point.  Let me know what you think.  Push the comment button and write something.  I'm tired of doing all the work.

Thanks!

Life Master At Last

Happy New Year blog followers!  Husband/partner and I made LM together, at the Reno Regional, with those awesome gold miners, Paula and Jay.  It was an emotional week, with more ups and downs than a road over the devil's backbone.  However, as our son opined, "It's nice to hear someone returned from Reno with a good result".  I think he was worried that we were headed for the quickie divorce capital of the western world.

"So, how does it feel?" I always hate those stupid reporters who ask people how "it" feels - winning the superbowl, escaping from a burning building, getting the Pulitzer... come on - can't you guys think of anything else to ask? So, how does it feel to attain life master status after about three years of non stop bridge playing? For me, the operative feeling is relief! I have scaled the mountain and laid my heavy backpack at the top. Unfortunately, it's only the first peak. A whole range of mountains lay before me.

Director/friend/partner Jay says, "Now you can really start to learn the game." Paula Warren says, "You get your life master and you wake up the next morning the same shitty player you were the day before." Club owner/friend Marilyn says, "It's your entry card into the world of real bridge players". I'm sure they are all correct.

To me, it's the high school diploma of bridge; a certification of basic competency. That may be an overstatement in my case since I can still screw up a laydown 3 NT hand and often do. However, now I can take some days off from playing and not feel as if I am losing ground in the hunt for masterpoints.

I am still committed to the game; love it; and as friend/partner Rebecca often says, "I would rather be playing bridge than doing most other things". I couldn't agree more. I will continue taking classes and directed play with real bridge masters and do anything else I can do to help my game improve. What is the next peak to scale? Not bronze life master or any number of points; no; I just want to be a decent club player whom other people enjoy having as a partner. If other designations come with time, so be it, but I am no longer in the hunt for piles of MPs. Done with that - over an out.

How many bridge players does it take to birth a new life master? Here is a list:

Mentors:

Biig Al Lochli
Chief Dementor Robert Barber
Marilyn Arnold

Teachers:

John Beard
Laurie Levin
Diane Olson
Everette Lewis
Wayne Rauschuber
Director Tom Marsh
Mike Lawrence
Lisa and David Berkowitz
Ira Hessel
Greg Hinze
Terry and Carolyn Reily
Bill Walker

Partners:

Partner/Husband Stephen Hoffman
Rebecca Brown
Carol Campbell
Leslie Tramer
Fran Vanecko
Paula Wissman
Jay Thorne
Phil Brown
Phyllis Giffen
Andy Villastrigo
Lee Ann Tsai
Steve Simpson
Becky Lu Tanner
Delores Reilly
Maddie and Bob Kleinman
Barbara Morgan
Bill Moody
Chuck Abbott
Susan Hernandez
Kenyon Daniel
Ken and Sharon MacMorran

AND - everyone who ever gave me any advice about anything at a bridge table - yes - even including you Tom Trudeau!

I am beyond grateful to all of you.  Thank You!!