Crabbiness

Here is the question of the day - does crabbiness violate zero tolerance?  The queen of crabbiness, Lucy, in the Charlie Brown comic strip, makes people smile.  So, when an opponent gives me an unasked for lesson as in, "You should have thought about cross roughing that hand" when I was down one, do you think it would make him smile if I replied, "When I decide to take lessons, I'll be sure not to call you"? 

When the opponent gets up to move to the next table and says, "We couldn't have made our five hearts.  Their six clubs was a bad sacrifice" wouldn't you think it might make them happier when I say, "If you could count your tricks, you would know you just got a bottom board"?  No smiles in either case but I felt better.

One of my opponents yesterday came to our table toward the end of the match, whining about the scarcity of good hands east/west.  She was right.  There were three slams north/south yesterday and only partial games east/west.  She admitted to being crabby.  In her case, even crabby, she is nice.  In my case, I turn into a sarcastic snarl machine.

It has always been a bridge mystery to me why opponents feel free to make comments about my game or give me lessons about what I should or should not have done.  In what other venue does that happen?  Do you think Tim Duncan, during a time out, goes to the opponents' bench to give them advice about their defense? 

 I imagine that bridge players think they are "helping".  I love the great players who say, "Would you like to know what you did wrong on that hand?"  I gratefully accept their mini lesson.  It is never the great players who, unasked, start to expound on what you should or should not have done.  It is always mediocre or poor players who do this and they are often wrong. 

Worse yet are those who say, "If she had led a heart we would have been down two" or "They could have made 5 on that."    Do I want to hear that?  No.  Do I know it already? Yes.  Does it sound like gloating which I hate?  Yes.  I often say, "There is a no gloating zone around this table."  The answer is usually, "I wasn't gloating, just stating a fact".  My answer is, "Go state it somewhere else because, if I can hear it, it qualifies as gloating". 

Have I violated zero tolerance?  Have they?  Maybe Lucy can tell me when the psychiatrist is in; five cents please.

The Bridge Clinic

Husband/partner and I have discussed hanging out a shingle in the corner of one of the clubs.  The men ask to see partner/husband after the game to talk about a variety of male related problems (think prostate) and the women often ask to speak to me to explain, in everyday terms, what the doctor has told them which they didn't understand.

One day, an elderly woman stopped play in the middle of the hand complaining of chest pressure.  Partner/husband attended to her and recommended that we call EMS.   She said, "It feels just like my last heart attack" and continued to finish the game, refusing any thought of EMS.  He recommended that she go to the nearest emergency room after the game.  She said, "I'm going home."  He said, "You may die on the way home."  Her answer?  "So what?"  She finally did go to an E.R. near her home where they plopped another stent into her chest and she is back playing, of course.

Another player asked me to explain why her doctor said that a cardiac ablation is more dangerous than severing the electrical connections in the heart and inserting a pacemaker.  That was an easy one, since I had that choice myself last year.

My former teacher,  Wayne, had serious heart problems and a very long recovery.  He is now back playing and winning, of course. 

Here is my point; sadly,  the bridge population is aging and with that, there seem to be more and more age related illnesses among us.  My Tuesday partner is in rehab for the foreseeable future and I miss her greatly.  I'm leaving my Tuesday's open pending her return.  I told her that everyone at the club misses her and wishes her well.  Her last words to me, as I left her hospital room, were, "Tell them I'll be back!"

I really admire the men and women who, through unbelievable adversity, come back to the game. If that is what keeps them going, then bridge is more valuable than I imagined.  I know that bridge is supposed to be good for the aging process; keeping the brain active and all of that hoo ha.  However, most of my exercise these days is playing east/west and walking table to table.   I really need to get back to working out to keep the bad stuff away as long as possible.  Oh well.  Off to Houston for the regional later today.  I hear they have a workout room at the hotel.  I wonder if I will use it?