New Orleans

July in New Orleans?  Are we totally  nuts?  Not only that, a low pressure system is headed toward the Big Easy on Sunday, the day we fly in.  Yesterday, Craig the Magic Hair Dude (magic because he makes my hair look great for about an hour until I mess it up) asked me why we were going to New Orleans.  When I told him, he asked me what I get if we win.  I said, "Gold Points".  He said, "Oh great - how much do you get for them when you turn them in?"  If only.  When I explained it was a title/standing/ego driven thing he was beyond perplexed as any lover of Vegas would be.

With any luck, we will be intrepidly boarding a Southwest flight on Sunday with friend Rebecca.  Bring on Tropical Storm Bonnie!  I hope the Marriott's windows don't blow out in the middle of my 7NT hand.

Thick Skin

You have to have the impervious hide of a rhino to play successful bridge.  The opponents will do anything to get under your skin and throw off your game.  Little do they know that I can throw off my own game without their help. 

My partner, today, friend Rebecca bid 2 diamonds.  I left her there and she made four.  At the end of play, I said, "making four" and heard 3 agreements from the others.  We folded up the hand, returned it to the board and I was sorting the next hand when left hand opponent said, "Wait a minute, making four?  She only made three."  Her partner said, "I had four".  I said, "I was certain I was correct in my call that she made four".  The director was called.  Left hand opponent then tried to explain to the director what tricks she had taken during the play.  I disputed that she had taken a second club trick.  At that point she said to the director, "Well, if they are going to be dishonest about it!"

Now, you can question my bridge playing ability (I often do), you can question why I continue to play the game, and you can question my choice of partners/friends or personality but you can NOT question my honesty.  I told left hand opponent that I was offended by her remark.  The director mostly unsuccessfully tried to quiet me down and ruled in our favor since the hand had been returned to the board and even left hand opponent's own partner told her it was too late to challenge.

I was still steamed and later told her that she owed me an apology, explaining that we can get things wrong and disagree but that in no way means that we are trying to be dishonest about what happened.  I told her that I would never think she was being dishonest if we disagreed about tricks taken.  She turned her back without speaking and left my detested presence.

This may be the end.  I said my piece.  I let my feelings be known to the offender.  If she is such a small person that she can not see how she offended nor that she owes the partnership an apology, then it is probably futile to try to make her understand normal social mores much less appropriate table behavior.  I have a fairly thick skin but she found the one microscopic pore which set me off.  Congratulations.

Mining for Gold

Two year ago, in the Austin regional, when we had two or three black points and not much in our bidding arsenal, we finally, on the last day of the event, made a partial red point.  I remember going out into the hallway whooping it up that we had scored.  Yesterday, we came back from the same event with 12.5 gold and 3 red.  Progress do you think?  Well maybe.

The weirdest thing that happened during a week of very weird stuff, was awaking Saturday morning to husband/partner wanting to talk about a dream he had during the night.  I said, "I had a weird dream too - you go first."  He started, "We were in a restaurant and I flicked at your gold earring and it fell on the floor.  I spent hours crawling around under tables looking for it."  My turn, "That's strange.  I had a dream about my gold earrings too.  I was visiting someone and took off the earrings  to take a shower and couldn't find them when I dried off."  I was of the opinion that someone was robbing our house and taking my jewelry while we were away.  Husband/partner thought that the hours (not to mention dollars) we had spent the whole week looking for gold points was sublimated into our collective unconscious and symbolized by the gold earrings.  I hate it when he is right.  I guess we have been married way too long when we have similar dreams.

In other regional news, as I walked in one morning, I was greeted by great player Ira.  He was standing by the door and he and his two buddies were laughing uproariously.  I had the uncomfortable feeling that it was directed at me.  It was.  Ira said, "I was telling these guys about the "Judy boards" I played in San Diego to drop in the standings.  As my friend Barbara the native Texan says: "DANG"!!!

We were in the worst pairs game ever (in our two year history).  It wasn't just our score that was bad (it was) but the pairs wouldn't move.  One of everyone's fave directors, Scott, was ready to tear his hair out.  He got on the mike several times asking people to move along to no avail whatsoever.  As our usual luck would have it, we were behind the slowest of the slow; two novices.  Now, being one myself, I'm usually pretty patient with any novice but these guys had no clue.  Director Scott reminded them that they needed to finish each board in about 7 minutes.  One of them said, "Really?  No one told us THAT!"  Meanwhile they continued doing their nails instead of moving.  Okay, that's a small exaggeration - very small.  I don't really know what the heck they were doing.  The next time Director Scott got on the mike he said, we are renaming this event the "Not so fast pairs".  It should have been slower than slow pairs.  He finally gave everyone an extra 10 or 15 minutes on the clock.  They STILL didn't catch up.  It was truly horrible.  There were late play boards everywhere.  I was feeling really sorry for Director Scott and told him I would bring a box of Valium to the next regional - for him - not the players.  They don't need any further help slowing down.

Seen around the hotel.

Two women from my home club with a tray full of vodka martini shooters.  We left the bar before we found out if they finished them.

The drama queen who sighed and shifted and in other ways gave signals to her partner that she was conflicted.  She was not as young as she pretended to be and my partner was ready to slap her silly.  If we had to play against her again, we asked the guys to switch with us.  Luckily, we didn't.

A guy in the Swiss with a red, white and blue balloon thing on his head.  Distracting the opponents? 

The wife who was wretchedly horrible to her husband.  We couldn't even feel too sorry for him because he brought it on himself by whining about what a bad player he was compared to her.  Her reponse was, "Oh STOP it!" and then complaining about his bidding on the next hand.  We had to play eight hands against them in the Swiss but it was worth it since we blitzed them and scored all 30 victory points.  Maybe he was secretly helping us.  I wouldn't blame him.

So that's about it for the Austin regional this year.  It's a great event, filled with friends and fun and great and not so great bridge like any other tournie.  I did one great thing.  The bidding went 1 spade by me and 4 spades by my partner.  I went to 6 spades with a 2 suited black hand and two red singletons.  It made and I felt, just for one short moment, like Ira.  He says he would have made 7. 

We really appreciate the four B players who helped us get to the semis in two KO rounds and get some gold.  They are a great example of wonderful players who help us newbies along on our journey so thanks to my sometime partner, Paula, Steve's sometime partner, Jay, and Phil and Phyllis,  friends from our club.

So now at least when people ask "How much gold do you need?" instead of hanging my head and saying "All of it", I can joyfully say "About 11".  On to New Orleans.  I'll keep you posted.