Crabbiness

Here is the question of the day - does crabbiness violate zero tolerance?  The queen of crabbiness, Lucy, in the Charlie Brown comic strip, makes people smile.  So, when an opponent gives me an unasked for lesson as in, "You should have thought about cross roughing that hand" when I was down one, do you think it would make him smile if I replied, "When I decide to take lessons, I'll be sure not to call you"? 

When the opponent gets up to move to the next table and says, "We couldn't have made our five hearts.  Their six clubs was a bad sacrifice" wouldn't you think it might make them happier when I say, "If you could count your tricks, you would know you just got a bottom board"?  No smiles in either case but I felt better.

One of my opponents yesterday came to our table toward the end of the match, whining about the scarcity of good hands east/west.  She was right.  There were three slams north/south yesterday and only partial games east/west.  She admitted to being crabby.  In her case, even crabby, she is nice.  In my case, I turn into a sarcastic snarl machine.

It has always been a bridge mystery to me why opponents feel free to make comments about my game or give me lessons about what I should or should not have done.  In what other venue does that happen?  Do you think Tim Duncan, during a time out, goes to the opponents' bench to give them advice about their defense? 

 I imagine that bridge players think they are "helping".  I love the great players who say, "Would you like to know what you did wrong on that hand?"  I gratefully accept their mini lesson.  It is never the great players who, unasked, start to expound on what you should or should not have done.  It is always mediocre or poor players who do this and they are often wrong. 

Worse yet are those who say, "If she had led a heart we would have been down two" or "They could have made 5 on that."    Do I want to hear that?  No.  Do I know it already? Yes.  Does it sound like gloating which I hate?  Yes.  I often say, "There is a no gloating zone around this table."  The answer is usually, "I wasn't gloating, just stating a fact".  My answer is, "Go state it somewhere else because, if I can hear it, it qualifies as gloating". 

Have I violated zero tolerance?  Have they?  Maybe Lucy can tell me when the psychiatrist is in; five cents please.