Whatever Happened to Shaking Hands?

On any given day men and women and women and women at the club are greeting each other with full body contact.  Am I the only one who finds this beyond weird?  Don't answer.  Maybe it's a Texas thing.  Maybe it's a southern thing.  I know, for sure, it isn't a New York thing.  Men don't do it to each other, so, if hugging is so great, why don't they?  It's not as if the people being greeted are some long lost relatives.  Most of the time they are the loyal opponents from the day before.

I don't like being hugged by people I don't know, don't care to know, aren't close friends, or whom I actively dislike.  Therefore, I make it a blanket rule that  I don't hug anyone and the actively disliked few are thereby hidden among the many.   The Huggy Doodies don't understand this.  I call them Huggy Doodies in fond memory of cute little Howdy.  If you don't remember Howdy - google him and watch some old episodes.  They don't make 'em like that any more.  Howdy never hugged Buffalo Bob or Mr. Bluster, Clarabelle or Princess Summerfallwinterspring.  So when did it become de rigueur to hug everyone upon meeting?  Presumably sometime after 1952.

I do the stick my hand out thing as someone is coming in on a hug approach.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes I have to duck or push away.  Sometimes I have to say, "Don't ever touch me again".  That always works.  I often want to add "you slimeball" but I'm afraid that would result in another lecture from Director Tom about zero tolerance.  I think there should be zero tolerance for hugging.  I also think I would get outvoted by the Huggy Doodies.  The bottom line for me is, don't touch me, don't touch my cards and we should get along fine.  That isn't so hard, is it?