The Language of Bridge

It's NOT what you are thinking out there.  I don't mean the four letter words I occasionally use going down yet again in no trump.  Nope.  I'm thinking about our secret code, i.e. the bidding systems.  We have a friend who does not understand our bridge obsession.  Actually, most of our friends can't understand it but this one friend has a question which has been on my mind for a while since he posed it.  The question went something like this:

"If you guys have to tell the opponents what your bid means, why doesn't everyone just save time and say, 'I have two spades'; 'I have three diamonds''; 'I think we have slam here, partner, how many aces do you have?"   His theory is that would be way easier, clearer, and really the same as what is curently done with bids.

Sadly, I had no answer and he concluded the remark with a superior look on his face and segued off to annoy his other friend, the Cowboys fan, about how bad the team looked this year.  He enjoys annoying people.  I can't figure out why I like him so much.  Maybe it's because he is my cardiologist and keeps me alive to play another day.

But, really, why do we have this complicated coded way to tell each other more or less what is in our hands?  Aha you say, because the game wouldn't be as interesting without the bidding.  Well, that is certainly true given the messes some pairs get into with different systems or even simple systems.  Those do provide entertainment and good boards for the opponents when there is a partnership misunderstanding.

The experts say that half of being a good player is defense.  I would posit that the other half is figuring out what the heck partner is trying to tell you.  Actually, counting out the hand and taking the finesse for the missing Queen of Clubs (why  the Queen of Clubs is so often the critical missing card is another question I can't answer) is no challenge compared to decoding partner's bids.

Like any other group, medical people, legal people, advertising people, or media people, we bridge players have our own arcane little way of communicating or "language" which is undecipherable to outsiders.  Although, at times, we may even be inscrutable to each other, the bridge vocabulary separates us out and makes us a unique group.  I like that.  I think that is part of the charm of the game and enhances our sense of community.  Can I explain that to any non duplicate player so that it sounds sensible?   Probably not.